rss logo email logo

News entries

May 29
May 28
April 1
April 1
March 27
March 26
March 24
March 17
February 6
February 4
January 29
January 21
January 6
December 19
December 15
December 11
December 10
December 10
December 5
December 4
December 3
November 29
November 27
November 21
November 14
November 13
November 12
November 11
November 7
November 6
November 5
November 5
November 4
November 1
October 31
October 29
October 25
October 25
October 23
October 22
October 22
October 22
October 17
October 16
October 12
October 10
October 9
October 9
October 8
October 7
October 5
October 5
October 4
October 2
October 1
September 23
July 22

Gore's Next Gig? Women's Apparel, Isle Two.

Al Gore has done it all. An attempt at the White House, a widely successful film, good nutritious cruelty-free food in the mouth of every starving orphan, fresh dirt for every baby worm, worms for every baby bird, birds for stray kittens, and kittens in the mouths of every bear. He even grew a beard! And not some crap beard, a man's beard! The kind of beard Jesus grew. Making Al Gore the modern day Jesus, sans the sandals. Gore needs arch support.

And guess what, no more global warming! They have it all under control. I'm going to celebrate by throwing pellets of Styrofoam confetti in the woods!

Since the global warming crisis is gone, Gore has moved on to the obesity crisis, and what better way to battle bulge than by starting his own line of reasonably priced women's athletic wear! The brand name says it all - "Gore Sweat". The world is anxiously awaiting the launch of "Gore Sweat" available exclusively at Wal-Mart.

Expect to see "Gore Sweat" in the next few weeks. Women's sizes run from 0-14, but he plans to launch a plus size line called "Gore Sweat More" by spring of 2008. There's been talk of a maternity line,
adorably named "Gor' Mama So Phat", and once the little ones are born, you can dress them in "Gore Tots".

Kick obesity in its fat ass, Al! And once that's done, can I get health insurance?

Get news faster

Be the first to learn about Dutch West news by subscribing to the email list, or using our RSS feeds. Both are accessible from the top right corner.