Gore's Next Gig? Women's Apparel, Isle Two.Al Gore has done it all. An attempt at the White House, a widely successful film, good nutritious cruelty-free food in the mouth of every starving orphan, fresh dirt for every baby worm, worms for every baby bird, birds for stray kittens, and kittens in the mouths of every bear. He even grew a beard! And not some crap beard, a man's beard! The kind of beard Jesus grew. Making Al Gore the modern day Jesus, sans the sandals. Gore needs arch support.
And guess what, no more global warming! They have it all under control. I'm going to celebrate by throwing pellets of Styrofoam confetti in the woods!
Since the global warming crisis is gone, Gore has moved on to the obesity crisis, and what better way to battle bulge than by starting his own line of reasonably priced women's athletic wear! The brand name says it all - "Gore Sweat". The world is anxiously awaiting the launch of "Gore Sweat" available exclusively at Wal-Mart.
Expect to see "Gore Sweat" in the next few weeks. Women's sizes run from 0-14, but he plans to launch a plus size line called "Gore Sweat More" by spring of 2008. There's been talk of a maternity line,
adorably named "Gor' Mama So Phat", and once the little ones are born, you can dress them in "Gore Tots".
Kick obesity in its fat ass, Al! And once that's done, can I get health insurance?