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July 22

Monday Mattness #1

From Matt:

My girlfriend told me the other night that she had a unicorn obsession
growing up. I thought that was a little gross given the obvious sexual
undertones. Apparently her bedroom wall was absolutely littered with
unicorn posters. I told her that it meant she was "crazy for cock" and
asked her to switch subjects to something we could both relate to. She
was disgusted and left the room.

To prove my point about prepubescent unicorn fetishes, I went
online in hopes of finding evidence in some scholarly literature on
the subject. My efforts fell short. All I found were beastiality
sites. She came back from the kitchen only to find me staring at a
picture of a woman getting fucked by a stallion. It would have to do.
"See what I mean?!" She was not impressed.

I was then directed to this story from a year ago that must have missed the newstands.

It appears twenty-year-old Brian Hatthaway found himself on trial for a little deer-fucking. Fortunatley for Brian, the deer was dead. He was found not guilty on beastiality charges because the deer was a carcass. So technically, it was no longer a deer when he boned it. It was a carcass and if the law defines
carcasses as animals, well lets just say thats a slippery slope!

In summation; It is legal to kill a deer (If you it eat it). It is
legal to fuck a deer if its dead. So its okay to fuck it so long as
you eat it!

Unicorns? Thats just plain disgusting.

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